Life is often a crazy journey for most people. We go through many phases as we grow up. It is a constant time of growing physically and mentally. Childhood and the teenage years should be a time when we are loved, guided to do what is right, and become educated in many areas including the dangers of the world in which we live. It is also a time in which we should be sheltered and protected from the pain and evil in this world. By the time we are adults, we should be equipped with life skills, including much knowledge and wisdom, yet this is not always the case.
Unfortunately, many people have suffered various kinds of actual and perceived abuse, all kinds of losses, brainwashing, manipulation, anger, jealousy, pain, guilt, suffering, and grief. The way they experience and perceive life is not always accurate or what God intends for them. They cannot perceive truth because the lens they use to see life through is warped. The level of distortion for each person is different. The “truth” and “knowledge” people often pass on to the next generation is distorted as well. It has gotten worse as each generation comes into existence. The ability for people to live together in harmony with one another is worse than it has ever been. It is evidence of the fact that we are in the last days.
Most people are suffering from depression and anxiety. Social media and other sources present a distorted view of people’s realities by presenting only the good and not any of the struggles people face. People are told they deserve the best because they are worth it. An entitlement mentality reigns, yet people cannot obtain what they desire or think they deserve. In addition, they have no compassion or empathy for other people.
People are seeing counselors and taking anti-psychotic medications of all kinds just to feel a sense of “normal.” Despite being medicated, they are still not able to process their feelings. They are encouraged to “do you” – live lawlessly – instead of righteously. If anti-psychotics do not numb their pain, they may turn to drugs of abuse. They often seem clueless to their sad state-of-affairs. If they are not clueless, they feel helpless to change their situation. Many are literally in a no-win situation. Many are often not willing to learn wisdom from others or submit to the authorities positioned over them.
What is the way to deal with all this suffering? Whether people want to hear it or not, the beginning or foundation of “the way” is found in Yeshua Messiah (Jesus Christ). After accepting Messiah’s grace and forgiveness – receiving Him as Savior – they need to begin reading the Scriptures daily to wash their minds of the false truths of the world, learn to walk in righteousness by the power of the Holy Spirit, and submit to Messiah’s lordship in their lives. Again, this is only a starting point.
Even when people embrace Him as Savior, they may still need to find inner healing. Unfortunately, most churches do not know how to walk people through a basic healing/recovery process, and/or it is not a priority of the church. Sometimes, this is something only the Lord can do, and He may choose to do it Himself or use gifted, Spirit-filled people to facilitate the process. For those who have spent countless years in counseling with no success, I can assure you that Yeshua has not stopped waiting for you to come to Him for healing and His wise counsel. For some, healing is very quick, but for others, inner healing takes place in layers and with time.
It starts with talking to others and being heard. Unfortunately, many churches send their people off to secular and non-secular counselors. If that is not bad enough, the non-secular counselors are licensed and regulated by counseling boards that are influenced by the world.
People need to learn how to listen and minister to those who are hurting while learning to care for themselves. I am no expert; I am still learning this process for myself. I have learned a lot from the Trauma Healing Institute and their course Healing the Wounded Heart, as well as many other sources. We were recently able to lead this course with women in the jail setting. This is not a one-and-done kind of thing; it is more of an experiential and equipping process because in this world, we will experience troubles that affect our souls.
As I’ve already said, the first thing people need is to be heard. This helps people as they navigate the grief process. We can ask them questions like: What happened? How did that make you feel? What was the hardest part for you? What have you done about it? Can I do anything for you? Just be there as a good friend and listen to what they say. You do not have to offer solutions. Just listen. The last thing they need is for someone to interrupt them in order to pray for them. That cuts off the conversation. Prayer can be done once the person in need has had time to express all their feelings and once it is time to part ways.
During this period of life, people need to soak in the Scriptures to understand truth. Depending on what they are dealing with, some people may need to develop coping skills. One of these can be expressing their feelings, grief, or traumatic event through art. We can also listen to praise music and lift our hands or dance as we sing. We might want to meet a friend to talk over a meal, coffee or tea and/or dessert. You may want to have someone join you as you walk your dog or take time to play a game. The ideas and opportunities for listening to one another, coping with our feelings, and managing life can be endless.
When people are grieving, we cannot rush them through the grief process or force them through it. We need to be with them and listen to their pain. We may even need to help them with daily tasks for a while. They must have time to process their denial and anger. There will be a period of feeling hopeless, but God is there, and there really is hope. We may need to remind them it is not a good idea to make major life decisions that might be regretted later during this time. It is only after navigating anger, denial, and hopelessness that a new beginning in life can be solidified. As that process takes place, it is not unusual to shift back to anger and denial or hopelessness as new beginnings become more normal. It can take a few years to go through this process; each person’s experience is different.
A few months ago, I mentioned a lamenting activity while I was talking with someone. She was telling me she had been seeing and hearing the word “lament” a lot recently, and she did not know what it meant. I began to explain that many of the Psalms are laments. In fact, there is a whole book in the Bible called Lamentations. I told her that since she had been encountering this word quite a bit, I believed the Lord was trying to tell her He wanted her to lament as part of her healing journey. Doing so can prepare our hearts and help us bring our pain to Messiah Yeshua.
A lament is essentially a complaint or problem we bring to the Lord. We can also recall how He has been faithful to us in the past. We may ask why bad things have taken place. We may repent of sins that led to a tragedy or claim we were never deserving of what took place. We may beg for His help in the situation we are dealing with and promise to praise, thank, and trust Him for the final outcome. We can do this verbally, but some people find it helpful to write it out. We may need to do this more than once.
After we have brought our pain and suffering to Messiah Yeshua, we are in a better position to forgive those who have trespassed against us. In fact, we may need to make a list of several people to forgive. Once we do that, we are in a better position to rebuild existing or damaged relationships or build new relationships.
As we move through this process, we can become stronger and more resilient in life.
It is my prayer that the Lord Yeshua Messiah will bring people into your life that have discernment and the ability to pinpoint your needs, so our Heavenly Father can bring healing in your life. Meanwhile, it is also my prayer that you read the last post on Personal Freedom and will read the next post on Inner Healing to find deliverance and healing. May you be equipped to walk many people through a similar process in these last days.
Highway to Holiness 